Step 7 of the Proactive 12 Steps
I learn to accept the sense of vulnerability that comes from facing what feels overwhelming.
Step 7, above, is part of the Beta version of the 4th edition of the Proactive 12 Steps. A video commentary on each step has been released over the past few months. Now is the time to share with us your feedback on the commentary:
- What do you find helpful?
- What would you want more of?
- What would you add or change?
Your comments on each specific step and on the approach as a whole are welcome. Please share your comments.
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Step 7 is being in your every day life, and encountering the many challenges of every day life. These are the challenges that, historically, you haven't been doing so well with, at least some of them. It's going to bring out the pressure, the fear, the overwhelm... But, now, you have more resources. You have the context, you are more aware of, "This happens when... but I can also be that..." So, now, because of this context, there is a sense of more support. You're not alone against the thing that time and again has defeated you.
You have also developed more of an ability to unfreeze a little bit, to shift from this (body language of stuck) to this (body language of unstuck), or from this (body language of tight) a little bit more to this (body language of unstuck), to get a little bit more in movement… which begins a cycle in which you're more able to deal with it.
It's still difficult. And so, moment by moment, as you face these challenges, you're going to feel vulnerable. Because it's still relatively new, you still have a history of more often than not having been defeated in these kinds of situations. So, by all means, you're going to feel vulnerable. But, what's happening is you also are starting to feel more comfortable with feeling vulnerable. What you've probably noticed in doing that research in terms of what gets you stuck, is that part of what probably tended to make you feel stuck is when you felt vulnerable. And so, feeling vulnerable brought out the whole cycle of fear and tension as you wanted to escape the experience of being vulnerable.
Now, you know that it's okay to be vulnerable, and you know that you have more tools to actually make the changes. So, you can stay with the vulnerability. You know: The few seconds it takes to actually give yourself a chance to see things a different way. And so you can shift. And, the beauty of it is, the more you do this, the more you teach yourself, you teach your body, you teach your mind, you teach your nervous system, that that vulnerability is actually okay. Because that moment is a moment of openness, where it is possible to do something new, to experience having the result of something new, and to feel the joy that it works. Not all the times, at least some of the time. And that's how you keep moving.