Step 11 of the Proactive 12 Steps
I stay in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.
Step 11, above, is part of the Beta version of the 4th edition of the Proactive 12 Steps. A video commentary on each step has been released over the past few months. Now is the time to share with us your feedback on the commentary:
- What do you find helpful?
- What would you want more of?
- What would you add or change?
Your comments on each specific step and on the approach as a whole are welcome. Please share your comments.
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So, what enables you to deal better with the inevitable limitations of being a human being, with the many challenges of life, with the difficulties that you encounter, is actually to keep remembering,,, you know, not just remembering as an artificial logical intellectual being… but remembering at a cellular level, at a gut level, that you're more than the typical reactions that have characterized you. To remember with a sense of pleasure and accomplishment how you've done some difficult things, and you have expanded your sense of self.
So, instead of living from that tiny sense of self that it's just this small part of you, you now have access to much more of you, hopefully all of you. So, you know that you can shift from here to there as needed. This… this… (body language, one side and the other). So what we're talking about is not going through the motions, it's not about just learning how to look authentic, or look sincere, or look friendly, or look open, or look mindful… But it's actually finding in yourself that deeply rooted part that is able to do that. That's your inner power.
It's a different kind of power than you might have thought of as power before. Because it's not the kind of power that goes like this (body language of aggressively going forward), okay? It's not the kind of power that overwhelms. It's not the kind of power that scares people… You felt scared and so thought, “if only I was able to scare other people then I'd be powerful”, or “if only I was able to overwhelm other people then I'd be powerful instead of being overwhelmed”.
You are connecting to the quiet strength that comes from having access to all of you, from being able to shift from one mode to a more mindful mode. That is the continued experience of that larger sense of self that enables you to keep going through the inevitable challenges of life.