Step 12 of the Proactive 12 Steps: The hero journey
A growing sense of wholeness and contentment motivates me to keep at it, and to share this process with others who need it.
Step 12, above, is part of the Beta version of the 4th edition of the Proactive 12 Steps. A video commentary on each step has been released over the past few months. Now is the time to share with us your feedback on the commentary:
- What do you find helpful?
- What would you want more of?
- What would you add or change?
Your comments on each specific step and on the approach as a whole are welcome. Please share your comments.
To keep in touch with what's new, please subscribe to the newsletter.
he approach as a whole are welcome. Please share your comments.
What actually makes it easier to do this is that, once you've passed the lowest points of being stuck, and you start to feel more connected to more of you, and you start to see how you can make changes… is that suddenly you're in an upward trajectory. Instead of vicious cycles, you experience the beauty of virtuous cycles. So, to make it very concrete, it becomes fun because there is a reward.
You know how you want to train a dog, and you give them a treat every time they learn a new trick. As you are more and more able to do things that you were not thinking were possible before, and you actually see how you react to people differently, how people react to you differently, and how you feel differently, from that more stuck place to a more expanded, unstuck, fluid place… it feels good. And, as it feels good, then you keep doing it. You're motivated to do it because you get a very, very deep reinforcement each time that you do it.
I think that's where gratitude is appropriate. You can have gratitude in all kinds of ways. You can feel gratitude to yourself. You can pat yourself on the back and say, “I'm really glad that I made this move, and it was difficult and it went well. Good job.” You can feel gratitude toward human nature and saying, “wow, this is kind of nice to have that potential. I'm really glad that I was able to tap into it, but it's great. Think about the untold millions and millions and millions of ancestors who evolved to bring us to that. Feels wonderful.” There's a sense of gratitude, of joy, of pleasure that is actually helping build all that.
From that place of gratitude and satisfaction, it's understandable that you then want to share more of this with the world. And it's wonderful. It's great to share from that place of gratitude. Obviously, being careful to not impose it on people. There's a sense… part of this whole thing is about a sense of deep respect, respect for yourself, respect for others. So certainly, it's not about sermonizing other people: “Hey, you know, I'm now… I've gotten through this process that made me a much better person and you too would benefit from becoming a better person.” I hope you never do that. But, from that place of feeling good, there is that sense of wanting to share the feeling good with other people. It starts with simply bringing into contact with other people that sense of feeling good, that sense of feeling more fluid, that sense of being more open, that sense of being able to overcome challenges, to overcome the difficulties of fear and pressure.
Bringing it together in contact with them in a compassionate way, being that way, it might actually help them also absorb some of it simply by being in contact with you. And then of course, being willing, able, ready to share some of it, if there is a demand for it. The key point is, it's about your sense of deep personal satisfaction at having connected to that inner power that comes from being able to handle efficiently the challenges of life, fear and pressure… to shift from stuck to unstuck. and to bring that into your relationship with yourself and your relationship with others.