Codependency: Proactive 12 steps & codependent relationships
Originally, the term "codependency" was mostly used within the context of the Twelve Steps. It described the dynamic whereby family members and friends "enabled" the dysfunctional behavior of the alcoholic because of their own enmeshment.
The word "codependency" is now widely used, and essentially describes relational dynamics where people have difficulty navigating interdependency (which is a normal, healthy, essential part of being human) and being themselves. In a codependent relationship, people have trouble seeing the many shades of gray between being separate and being in connection. They have trouble navigating these nuances. So the relationship tends to take place at the extremes - - people are subsumed into the relationship, or assert their independence in an aggressive and destructive manner.
The Proactive Twelve Steps are particularly well suited for codependent behaviors, because they provide a clear focus on relational mindfulness, whereas this focus may not be as visible in traditional Twelve Steps.